The Stupid, Short Fanfic
by dark-pheonix1
Summary: Chapter 7: How Mirage Got Her Groove Back. Mirage goes on a crazy adventure to develop her character. Contains your daily required portions of fairies, the government, clothes baskets, and raves.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! I've decided to go back to my original love, COMEDIC FANFICS! Ok, so I bring you the first in hopefully a long line of short fics.

The Stupid Short Fanfic. . .

. . .in which someone gets pawned.

It was a bright, cheery day in Airyglyph castle in the middle of summer. The birds were chirping happily outside and the sound of merchants selling their goods to the public drifted into the many open windows. The heavenly scent of fresh baked bread came from the kitchens, and the castle itself was full of movement and life.

This annoyed Albel the Wicked very much. So much that he felt that he needed a good walk in the almost empty dungeons to wash off all of the happiness. Of course, the fact that there weren't any people in the dungeons to taunt and terrify only lowered his spirits even more, if that was humanly possible. Finally, a little girl, no more than eight or so, was skipping his way twisting flowers around the poles of the cells. 'A perfect victim' Albel thought, although his pride was sure to take a beating later.

"Watch it, fool," he growled.

"Shut up, lum porker!" she said happily. Albel was astounded! Where did the girl learn such language? And who in their right mind would call him, the great and terrible Albel the Wicked, such a name? He knocked her against the cell and grabbed her throat with his clawed arm.

"What did you say, maggot!" he snarled into her ear.

"Oh, PLEASE! You can drop the act now, you old piece of moldy dish soap! Everyone here knows that you're a washed up has-been trying to follow in the footsteps of your great father! At least, that's what Uncle Vox said. . ." she replied while slipping free of his grasp. "I bet you have a really girly middle name too. I bet your middle name is. . .JANICE!" she braided some of the flowers into the back of his braids while singing.

"Albel Janice NOX

eats his dirty SOCKS

thinks Fayt really ROCKS

has no but-TOCKS

tried to erf a FOX

drinks loogies he HOCKS

has a thing for JOCKS

sucks male soldier's-"

With one quick move, her head was his. Her face was still smiling, still taunting him, but he didn't care. He threw it in a cellar and locked it up.

"Stupid worm. How did SHE know about my middle name?" he muttered.

A blonde girl in a white dress looked around the corner to make sure no one was coming. Then she magically whipped a small blue box with white lettering out of nowhere.

"Orbit: for fresh, clean breath. . .no matter what!"

ok this was really stupid. I'll admit it. I tried to keep with the original evil rat bastard that Albel was before he became the sensitive, lovable rat bastard that we all love near the end. Don't get me wrong-I love Albel dearly; in fact, he was my favorite character in the whole game. And no, I don't REALLY think his middle name is Janice.


	2. Chapter 2

The Stupid Short Fanfic. . .

. . .in which Luther is paranoid.

"AAAAH!" The scream echoed about the halls of the mansion. A young girl with silver hair ran down corridor after expensively decorated corridor to the room where her brother slept. It was platinum colored, like all the other rooms in all the other 4-D houses in 4-D space, but her brother decorated it with a medieval flare. Wall hangings depicted different forms of feudalism on his favorite planets in Sphere. The bed itself was quite large for the blonde haired man who was sitting up with the synthetic silk comforter clinched in his hands.

"Luther! What's wrong?" the silver haired girl asked.

Luther's gaze darted back and forth. "It was terrible, Blair! There were ones and zeroes-it was SO archaic! And then, I thought I saw a two, but I know that there shouldn't be a two. Why was there a two, Blair?" he yelled crazily.

Blair held her frightened brother in her arms. "It's alright, Luther. There is no two. It was only a dream," she said soothingly.

"No, no, no! I know they're out to get me. They're still angry! They lurk quietly in the shadows, disguised as cos-players. . . But everything will be ok, because I have you and Mr. Skweekums here to protect me," He replied as the small teddy bear that he held with a death grip let out a small squeak.

He rocked back and forth. Blair was getting sick of being woken up in the middle of the night. "How about we both go play Sphere disguised as a different player than we usually are. Then we can monitor the data and it won't know it's you," she suggested.

"Yes. . .maybe that's a good idea. We could go eat some Burger King. I do so love Burger King. I WANT IT MY WAY, BITCHES!" he screeched while laughing maniacally. Blair thought that whoever took a dump in her gene pool and produced this nutcase of a brother should have their eyeballs ripped out and used as surveillance cameras to monitor the mess they made. She helped him out of bed and guided him down the halls. It was going to be another long night.

Mr. Skweekums sat innocently on the bed, finally abandoned by his master. He sprang to life and fell to the floor with a thump and of course, a squeak. He reached under the bed and pulled out a miniature sniper rifle. His button eyes gleamed maliciously as he followed the pair down the many corridors.

Oddly enough, at that exact moment a large group of rare Klausian squirrels started doing the can-can while reciting Hamlet in Klingon and eating raspberry flavored pastrami, but that's not the point.


	3. Chapter 3

The Stupid, Short Fanfic. . .

. . .now in 5 pimptasticly neon colors!

"Hello everyone, and welcome to the Lost City's favorite television show. . ."

"PIMP

MY

CO-WORKER!"

"Now broadcasting live, from the Sphere Corporation Headquarters, here's your host: Belzeber!"

A thin, blonde man with purple lips sat in front of a reception desk in a FANTASTICALLY platinum room with many SUPER FUN and slightly interested crack addicts-I mean, 4-D beings- standing behind them proudly sporting their purplish-grey work uniforms that they bragged about to the folks back home.

"Well hello, my fellow co-workers and all the viewers at home," Belzeber said peppily with no hint of homosexuality whatsoever. Nope. None. "Today we have a special request from. . .oh my. . . THE ENTIRE APRIS PROJECT TEAM! That's right, folks! From the people who brought you Dominoes and most importantly, the developers of the Eternal Sphere's Milky Way Galaxy!" The people behind him who realized what was going on cheered unenthusiastically.

"Well anyway, they requested that we make over one of the most. . .well. . . lovable characters on our staff! Please welcome the head of security himself- Azazer!"

A burly black man with a rocket launcher heaved a much smaller and very angry looking man with black hair and glasses over his shoulder. Ratings soared like a virtual bird, because there was nothing so biotic roaming freely in 4-D space.

"And here's our guest! Thank you, Berial, for bringing him this far. I'm assuming this is your first time on the show, Azazer?"

Azazer fumed in Berial's rather uncomfortable grasp. "Belzeber, when I get a hold of you, I'm going to-"

"SLEEP!" Belzeber screeched while knocking Azazer unconscious with a glass bottle. "We have a fabulous little outfit already picked out for our lovely, lovely friend. We will be back shortly! In the meantime, watch some spiffy commercials!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………

You loved her for her waffles, now fall in love all over again as she helps you shed the weight you gained from eating them! That's right- it's the Aunt Jemima Workout! 20 energizing songs on 19 Cds including the award winning "Dip it Into the Syrup, Baby," and "Spread That Butter On!" Call in the next 3.141527 seconds and get the classic "Can't Wait 'Till the Toaster Pops Up" absolutely free! Call 823-264-3468 NOW!

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Are your children bored of simulated animals? Do you think that all kids need to entertain themselves is an X-Box and a crack pipe? Do you wish that they would just shut up and go away so you can get a liposuction? Well too bad, you pathetically poor parental! But you can always entertain them with a different simulated animal! Now there's French Toast Zoo! That's right! The zoo where your kids can learn the wonders of raising French toast in the dark and damp closet space of their rooms! Comes in Lion, Emu, Thompson's Gazelle, Giraffe, Moose, and Zebra flavors.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Do you begin to move violently at 12 in the afternoon? Does your tongue get hairy and spontaneously fall off on a regular basis? Do you have "funny" thoughts about a cow on the moon? Then you might be one of two people with GonnaherpasyphilAIDS. But now there is hope! It comes in the form of a tiny pill known as Warblibbles! Warblibbles effectively fights the effects of GonnaherpasyphilAIDS by attacking your brain. Ask your doctor about Warblibbles today. **Warning! Warblibbles is not for everyone. People who are alive should not take Warblibbles. Common side effects include: vomiting, necrophilia, an Oedipus complex, voting, and repeated use of the words rhubarb, sassafras, and shindig.**

……………………………………………………………………………………………

"Welcome back to:

PIMP

MY

CO-WORKER!

Now back to our host!"

Belzeber gave a wide, slightly evil smile to the camera (that could never be interpreted as gay). "We are all done with today's guest! So without further ado, allow me to present the NEW Azazer!"

A raging clown came out from behind a red curtain sporting a laser gun. Well, it looked like a clown, anyway. The formerly) distinguished and rather annoying man known as Azazer was dressed in a lime green tank top with a short fluffy pink skirt. His hair, which was normally neatly layered and spiked with exact measurements of the space between each clump as well as its width and height to maximize professional-ness (all of which took Azazer and extremely long amount of time in the morning, but that's not the point), was pulled up in pigtails with bright purple highlights. His heavily make-upped face scowled angrily, or at least tried to while he balanced in white go-go boots. "BELZEBER! YOU DIE NOW!" He yelled, chasing after the blonde host.

"Oh my, Azazer! Is that a THONG I see!"

"Shut up and slow down you fruit! I can't run in these stupid heals!"

The moment these words came from Azazer's mouth, every conservative in the Pangalactic Federation did the tango with a lemon and overdosed on space bee honey.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Oh my. . .well, this is what happens when my brother co-authors something with me. I couldn't help myself though. And yes, I do think that Belzeber is gay.

And now for responses to reviews! Thanks everyone!

Valex- Thanks, dude! D

Blue Persuasion- Well, slap my behind and call me Debbie! Thanks for the nomination!

()- I wonder if any of the other characters have secret middle names they'd like to share. . . **looks around at the cast, who looks rather uncomfortable **


	4. Back to Elicoor!

The Stupid, Short Fanfic. . .

. . .and the events in Her Majesty's bathroom (and a marketing hole)

White. That color perfectly described the interior of the royal castle of Aquaria. Every wall and floor tile was a brilliant shade of white. Well, not entirely. There were splashes of teal here and there for "aesthetics," or the science of making things look less boring than they really are. Also, the teal kept people's eyes from blowing up when they looked inside the castle, which in turn lowered the amount of times the interior designers got sued for "aesthetic malpractice," but that's not the point.

Magistrate Lasselle thought white was the perfect color for the castle. White was the color of purity, and therefore showed Aquaria's artistic, cultural, and religious superiority to those barbarians in Airyglyph. Besides, marble was in style these days. Who lived in a castle made of granite blocks anymore?

As Lasselle walked about the castle admiring his superiority over everyone and everything in it (except for Her Royal Highness, herself, of course), he could distinctly hear strange noises coming from the Royal bathroom. He bent in to listen closely.

"Oh my. It's rather . . .big. What does it do?" said a dainty woman's voice that Lasselle recognized as the queen's.

"It puts the lotion in the basket," said a gruff man's voice, which belonged to none other than Adray Lasbard! Lasselle could barely keep himself from gasping in horror! What was that ruffian doing with the queen?

"I see. Could you show me, Adray?" the queen asked.

"Sure, your majesty. Hold on, though. It's a bit hard to control . . ."

Gathering all his courage, Lasselle burst through the door. "AND WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" he yelled.

His queen and Lasbard were crouched on the floor. In between them sat a large yellow contraption with a hand like clampy thing. Inside said clampy thing was a bottle of expensive lotion, and off to the side was a wicker basket. The yellow clampy thing contraption had the word "TONKA" printed in solid black letters. Adray held a black box with buttons on it and a crazy nonsense stick attached. On his face he wore an annoyed expression.

"Lasselle! You came just in time!" Queen Romeria exclaimed, "Adray found this amazing machine on one of his journeys. It puts lotions in baskets."

"What are you doing here, Lasselle?" growled Adray.

"W-well I . . ." Lasselle stuttered as his cheeks turned an interesting shade of pink that had the astounding ability to cure cancer when viewed through an electron microscope, but that's not the point, "I thought . . .naughty things were afoot . . ."

Adray smirked perversely. "So you thought that you would watch, or perhaps . . ."

Lasselle blushed even more (and therefore lost his cancer curing abilities). "No! Of course not!"

"Hah! Yeah right! I think it's about time you got the hose!" said he with the skirt and slippers.

Queen Romeria stood between the two of them. "What quarrel have you with Adray, Lasselle?"

"Well, you see your majesty . . ." Suddenly, Lasselle pointed dynamically at Adray. "HE STOLE MY POKEMON CARDS!"

The queen looked very confused. Adray just looked annoyed.

"Yes, I remember like it was yesterday . . ." (Uh oh. Lasselle's getting nostalgic. Run for the hills!) "I finally got my first edition Raichu that I had been searching for. And this . . .barbarian stole it from me!"

"Hey, hold on you!" Adray snarled, "I didn't steal it! You traded it for my Jigglypuff!"

The fight went on and on. Eventually, the queen pushed a mysterious button that no one knew existed- not even her! Clair came rushing to the bathroom.

"Yes, my lady?" she asked politely, like she stole the tongue of a butler. (She probably did. It was butler season in Aquaria, after all.)

"Please get Nel, Tynave and Farleen," she asked.

"Your wish is my command, Your Majesty," Clair unsheathed her baselards and held them into the air. "Crimson Blades! HO!"

Three things happened after that. Farleen came out of the toilet with a snorkel in her mouth and a platypus in her hands, Nel ninja-flipped out of a vent, and Tynave saved money on car insurance by switching to Geico. She also fell from the vent with Nel, which actually is the point.

"Yes, Clair!" they all said in unison.

"Go find another Raichu card for Lasselle so he'll stop complaining!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"How do we know that we can count on you?" said Lasselle stupidly. He was backed against the wall because he was afraid of . . .platypuses? Platipi?

"Don't worry O fearful and slightly menopausal man! Together, we form VOLTRON!" Clair replied before jumping out of the window and turning into a swallow.

"We cool now, Lasselle?" Adray asked in a gangsta' fashion.

"'Strait" replied Lasselle, as they rapped off into the distance.

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And this is what happens when you listen to the voice remix of the SO3 album while talking to my cousin (whose name is, oddly enough, Luther xD) about SO3. I know this one made even less sense than usual, but according to your reviews, that's what you like in comedic fics, so yay for you guys! Speaking of reviews. . .

RequiemReaper: yes, I agree! That's why this chapter was so full of it!

The Crazy Authoresses CAT and AMS: I'm glad you like my soda induced ramblings! As for the bunnies, I'm pretty sure I found one under Albel's bed. I bet he sleeps with it at night! XD Hmmm pretty Fayt maid. . .crap, now I have to draw that. And if crazyness is contagious, I hope the vaccine is delayed!

Blue Persuasion: I love that show too! Actually, Andrew and I were just making up funny things involving the things in our freezer when we came up with all that. Except for GonnaherpasyphilAIDS. That's from a song we made up in Health class.


	5. Sophia's Super Fun Bakery of Stupidity

The Stupid Short Fanfic . . .

. . .and Sophia's Super Fun Bakery of Stupidity!

Sophia pranced hyperly about her newly acquired bakery in Peterny. Look at all the yummy sweet things! Muffins Muffins Muffins! Cakes Cakes Cakes! Even some pies for good luck! Because everyone knows that if you hang a lemon pie over a small figure of a monkey crashing cymbals in your store window, good luck will come to you!

Well, it was easier than stringing flowers together.

The perky little bell ting-a-linged as a customer walked in. Sophia danced joyously. Her first customer of the day! Who could it be? What would they want? Perhaps a special order? Oh, the suspense!

In the doorway stood her old companions Fayt Leingod, Nel Zelpher, and Albel Nox. She gasped and glomped everyone (even Albel, who was restrained by a tight hold on his hair by Nel and Fayt. The only reason Albel put up with this torture because he secretly had a craving for a donut, but that's not the point).

"What can I get you guys today? Whatever it is, it's on the house!"

Fayt and Nel scoured the counter for yummy baked vitals while Albel stood stoically in the corner pretending that he didn't really want a donut. When all of the sudden. . .

"EEEK! A MOUSE!" screeched Sophia.

Albel bopped the mouse on its head with a plastic spoon that came from nowhere because the planets were in perfect alignment for something like that to happen, and it was Aquaria's National Bop as Many Mice on the Head with Unexplained Plastic Spoons As Humanly Possible Day.

"Thanks Albel," Sophia said as she continued her shop keeping duties.

"Fool. You should know this after all the times I've said it. It's not the great who are strong, It's the strong who are-"

"GRAPES!" Nel shouted randomly, "Those crêpes are made with grapes! What lunacy!"

Sophia flitted over to Nel. "Yes! Those are my not-quite-infamous-but-soon-to-be-infamous-because-I-said-so-hahaha grape crêpes! They got an invention ranking of 1, which must mean that they're number #1 because their just sooooooo good! Try one!"

Nel looked nervous. The last time she tried something with and inventor rating of 1, she thought she was a turtle. When she went to the doctor, she found out that it was a temporary case of stupidititis of the brain. Oddly enough, the cure was to eat a lot of blackberries and avoid spinning in circles for too long.

Nel gave Fayt the general body language for "God/whoever I'm looking at at the moment, help me!" Fortunately for her, Fayt had a master's degree in body languagese, so he understood what she was saying. He picked up a blueberry muffin. "Hey-uh-Sophia! These muffins look good. I think I'll have one."

Sophia slid to Fayt. "So, you like the classic blueberry muffin too, Fayt? I've heard many people compare muffins to life," she held a muffin philosophically and said, "You have to get through the mushy bread part to get to the sweet nuggets of blueberry inside, you know."

"Bah. But I don't like blueberries, worm," Albel spat.

Sophia turned and smiled at him. "That's because you're an emo, silly."

A mixture of anger, hate, and despair spread across Albel's face as he lunged at the unsuspecting shopkeep. "I AM NOT AN EMU, WOMAN!"

Nel grabbed Albel's "leash" of hair. "She never said you were, you androgynous freak!" she exclaimed. The fighting continued while Fayt munched cheerfully on his muffin. He sighed, which only resulted in a flurry of crumbs falling to the floor.

"Help!" yelled some random person outside with little significance to the story at hand, "That theif stole my Starburst!" What was this? A random candy caper? This sounds like a job for. . .

"THE STARBURST AVENGER!" yelled Fayt as he jumped out from behind a counter wearing a Mardi Gras mask and a Superman outfit. "And my loyal sidekick. . ."

He pulled Peppita out of a top hat, for she was dressed as Raggedy Anne. "SQUEEGIE MOP GIRL!" she yelled in response while wielding a plastic mop. "Together we defend all things that are chewy with a fruity aftertaste!" They both ran out the door making swooshy-flying noises.

Nel looked confused, partially because she was tap dancing. "That was one of the scariest things I've ever seen." She said while twirling.

"Didn't you say something about a bear with a knife attacking you once?" asked Albel as he tangoed with a hat stand.

"Shut up, Janice!"

"Shut up, PeNELope!"

"At least my name suits my gender!"

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" baa'd Albel, mostly because he turned into a sheep. A black one. With yellow stripes and a bowler cap. With the number "42" spray painted on his side. Nel hopped onto Albel's fleecy back and rode off into the sunset.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the streets of Peterny. . .

"There he is, Squeegiemop Girl!" yelled the Starburst Avenger whilst continuing his swishy noises.

"I'm on him like Ursus on a pile of Reese's cups!" Squeegiemop Girl replied, smacking the Furby with the Starburst over the head with her mop of justice. The Starburst Avenger prefferred a more linguistic approach, so he attacked with random Engrish.

"HYPER NONSENSE WORLD TABASCO SHOWER!" he shouted, "GET YOU THE HOT BULLETS OF SHOTGUN TO DIE!" Not even the Furby, with its astounding Engrish skills, could stand such a terrible bastardization of the English language. So the Furby slowly faded away in a cloud of red scariness.

"Thank you for saving my Starburst!" said a bottle of Nestea.

IT'S ALMOST OVER!

"No problem, ma'am," said Squeegiemop Girl. Fayt didn't say anything because he had a secret crush on the Nestea bottle. Afterwards, they dated and eventually got married. Sophia watched while eating corn chips and singing in the rain.

IT'S OVER!

wow. That has to be my most random one yet. Sorry it took so long. I was sick. ;-;

Blue Persuasion: Wow, you're the first person who got those references. Kudos and a cookie to you! I used to watch those old animes all the time when I was really little. SNARF SNARF. XD

CAT and AMS: I love Douglas Adams too! The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a family favorite (in other words, everyone has read it at least once; Dad and I still quote it every once in a while). So I'm honored that I even reminded you of him!

Lucretia LeVrai: I'm glad you liked it. I had to sneak a Geico line in there somewhere, so. . .yeah. :B


	6. Short People and Hats

The Stupid Short Fanfic. . . .

. . .Now with 27.245 to the qth power percent more short people!

Nothing quite compares to the calm foresty feel of Duggus Forest in the morning. The birds, the bees, the birds eating the bees . . .all of it was so delightful. The way the calm wind blew the sweet, sweet scent of the red fruits that grew on the evil monster trees combined with the graceful rolling of deadly boulders that seemed to come from nowhere and threatened to crush you with every rhythmic thump could attract any foreigner to the serene chaos that was the Sanmite Republic's official (un) organized crime syndicate headquarters.

So, logically, it was only a matter of time until little Peppita Rosetti found the place. She wasn't looking for a vacation spot, and she wasn't some radical new space pirate/bounty hunter/ other clichéd anime character who came to rid the forest of evil, wrongness, and cheese ninjas, etc. She was simply looking for a nice place to skip. You see, the Pangalactic Federation prohibited Velbaysian skipping on all of its planets because every government needs to suppress some minority race like that. It didn't matter how many circus freaks rioted. The representatives of the Pangalactic Federation would just do a more dignified version of the classic "talk to the hand, because the face ain't listenin'" This made life very difficult for poor Miss Peppita, since all Velbaysians were culturally required to skip at least once in their lives. And that's why lines on the road are yellow. Wait, no it isn't . . .

Well, anyway, Peppita decided to start her skipping pilgrimage in Duggus Forest. She wore the necessary traditional clothing, which consisted of a fluffy white bunny suit, and skipped off singing the traditional Velbaysian skipping hymn.

"Little Bunny Foo Foo, hoppin' through the forest! Scooping up the field mice, and boppin' 'em on the head!"

At that point in the song, she grabbed a young Menodix boy by the name of Roger by the tail and hit him with a wiffleball bat.

"Sweet Trojan-Judas-hairnet-battle-tree, Peppita!" swore the miffed Menodix.

Suddenly, Mirage fell from the sky wearing fairy wings and a lampshade on her head. "Now, now Peppita, it's not nice to bop Menodix on the head. I will give you three chances," Just as suddenly, she ran off yelling "OUT OF MY WAY! I'VE GOT SQUIRREL POWER!"

Unfortunately, Peppita had ADD, so she wasn't even listening. She skipped along singing "Little Bunny Foo Foo, hoppin' through the forest! Scooping up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head!" she grabbed another Menodix child and hit it with a psychedelic hot dog.

"What the spam-glitter-Czech-hibiscus!" it shouted.

This time, Cliff fell from the sky wearing a tutu with sippy cups for hands. "Peppita! What did Mirage tell you about bopping things? You have two more chances," He moonwalked out of the forest singing "Ice Ice Bacon" over and over again.

A strange wave of amnesia swept the nation, and no one was aloud to pass go and collect $200! Oh noes! And so Peppita kept skipping.

"Little Bunny Foo Foo, hoppin' through the forest! Scooping up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head!" She grabbed yet another young Menodix and hit it with a helium balloon.

It just sang the "I Love Lucy" theme song in Latvian.

Blair pranced out of the sky in a McDonald's uniform and a tiara made of glue. "Now, Peppita! What did Mirage and Cliff say about hitting things that don't belong to you? You have one more chance little missy!" Then she pranced off again yelling "YEAH TOAST!"

Evil green aliens had a strange craving for brain juice at that moment, and since little girl brain juice goes really nice with some beans (the only thing they had in the fridge at the moment), they decided to steal Peppita's. Which caused her to commence the skipping and the singing.

"Little Bunny Foo Foo hoppin' through the forest! Scoopin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head!" Another Menodix youth was smacked with a loofa.

"Holy super trampoline school kid!" it screeched.

Maria fell from the sky dressed as a counter terrorist from Counterstrike. "Well, Peppita, you hit 3 things on the head. It's now time for you to FACE THE P0WNAGE!"

She took aim and yelled "BOOM, HEADSHOT!"

Peppita dashed away faster than Albel being chased by his insane spider-loving sister before performing her ultimate move: "DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION SHOWDOWN!" The arrows flashed so quickly that Maria, in all her heavy Counterstrike cos-play armor, couldn't keep up. Therefore, the forest imploded in a sea of Skittles and xylophones.

And Luther looked upon the mass of insanity and proclaimed "WTF?" And it was stupid.

And that's the story of how I got two hats!

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

All right! I'm all better now:D

Thanks to all who reviewed! Have a happy Wintereenmas! Although that isn't until a few weeks. . .


	7. How Mirage Got Her Groove Back

The Stupid Short Fanfic. . .

. . .How Mirage Got Her Groove Back

"Coming up next: Is it fashionably acceptable to wear dark matter after Labor Day? Find out after these commercial breaks on Quantum Physics in the Morning!"

The sound waves from the digitally enhanced speakers for the Holo-view television bounced lazily off the titanium walls. "What's the point of delivering such trash information to the bipedal hominids who obviously know better?" they wondered until they found their way to the blonde-haired martial artist's ears. However, their much more excited and slightly ADHD cousins, the light waves, twitched and spasmed their way straight into the woman's bored dark blue eyes.

It would be a long trip to wherever it was she was going, or so she had heard. But that didn't matter, because she was in a bored and lamenting mood, which could easily be remedied with some retarded Earth television.

"I don't understand!" she glared at the television. "Why was my character development so undeniably lame? All I did was FOIL Cliff's playful and carefree personality!" She tossed her pillow across her room, which may or may not be out of character, but she couldn't tell, so therefore it didn't matter. She had amazing potential near the beginning of the main story, but the great gods of programming (also known as Tri-ace), ditched her, only to have her rejoin everyone else near the end of their Elicoorian adventures.

"I know!" she said, leaping enthusiastically out of her bed, "I'll go back to Elicoor and have my own adventures, therefore shaping my personality! Marietta!" she called to her green haired accomplice on the bridge.

"What is it, Mirage?" she asked.

"Come on, Marietta! We're going to go get my groove back!"

The wind was blowing very nicely that day on the outskirts of Surferio. Like usual, the brook bubbled while fluffy creatures and monsters alike frolicked in unpeaceful harmony.

Then, a spontaneous flash of light appeared, along with two women, which while slowly becoming the norm nowadays still wasn't quite there yet.

"Come, Marietta! To Surferio!" It was rare that Mirage was this excited about anything. Marietta thought that she was always cool and calm, no matter what the situation. She knew that she should call off this silly mission, but Marietta thought that she didn't have much of a character either, and it wouldn't do them any harm.

It was at that precise moment that she caught a fluffy raccoon tail in the face.

"Halt! What are you doing here?" demanded a sickeningly adorable voice.

"Roger?" exclaimed Mirage. The little Menodix boy was dressed in military attire.

"Oh, hi Mirage"

"What are you doing?"

Roger puffed up his chest with pride. "I'm the leader of the Menodix Anarchist Party!"

Marietta looked confused, which was rare because she usually didn't have a facial expression. "The . . .what?"

The fluffy boy cleared his throat in an attempt to sound important. "Well, we decided that all government s need to have some resistance organizations, even if they are run by fluffy woodland creatures. Melt is the leader of the NAAFP (also known as the National Association for the Advancement of Furry Peoples), and Dribe leads the Aprisian Coalition, Surferio Chapter. Together, we mess around with the government and make them conform to our standards . . .or ELSE!" Somewhere unimportant, lightning flashed menacingly, but that's not the point.

"Or else what?" Marietta asked.

"Or else . . .um . . .we hide everyone's socks so they only have one of each pair!"

It was Marietta's turn to gasp. "The horror!"

Mirage interrupted the conversation of ultimate stupidity to ask a question. "Would you like to join us on our adventure to gain an identity?"

"Would I! It would help spread the news of our cause!" Roger jumped off his fuzzy behind and warped off with the two Klausian women.

The city of Arias was bustling with progress and productivity ever since the end of the war with Airyglyph. All were working to rebuild the previously ransacked village except for Clair Lasbard, who was hiding for some unknown reason.

A light spontaneously flashed and two women and a Menodix boy appeared in the center of the city, but no one cared because they were too busy working and hiding.

"Oh, pea buckets! We warped to the wrong spot again!" cursed Mirage.

"Hello, what might you be doing here?" asked a frightfully manly man in a tutu.

"Adray? What are YOU doing?" said the one with a fuzzy jacket.

"I am the fairy of minor grievances! Feel my annoying wrath!" The manly, skirted warrior shouted while smacking Marietta upside the head with a pink Mattel wand.

"Ow! Both of my feet fell asleep!" Marietta limped around in circles like a paraplegic giraffe until she worked off the loss of blood in her afflicted limbs.

Adray chortled above them. Never before had anything in a tutu with fairy wings and a Mattel wand looked so manly.

"Hey, Adray! Come join us on our crazy nonsense quest!" yelled Roger.

"Why?" the flying man asked in a manly fashion.

"We'll give you a cookie!" called Mirage.

"Okay!"

The daring group went on other adventures as well, most of which included sheep, locked boxes, shiny things, and a scone cannon. But since they're not that important, we'll move on.

"BEHOLD!" screeched the final boss, "I AM THE MAGICAL TURTLE OF INFINATE INFALLABLE WISDOM!"

"No, you're not," said Mirage for the umpteenth time.

"YES I AM!" said the self-proclaimed turtle.

"No sir, you're not. You're just former President Jimmy Carter with a clothes basket duct taped to your back," reasoned Marietta.

". . .Are you sure? Because I feel strangely infallible and wise at the moment . . ." said Mr. Carter nervously.

"The party hat doesn't help much either, you know," Adray commented manlily, for said final boss was wearing a party hat over his mouth.

"Oh, okay. So what do you want?" he asked.

"We want more character development!" they all proclaimed together.

"But you have plenty of character development! Mirage, you're an idol most fanfiction writers who aren't extremist Alnel fans, and even some who are! They demand more and more fanfictions and fanarts of you every day! Roger, everyone comments on how cute you look. You're a hero to furries everywhere! Adray, do you know how many people talk about how hopeless you are on the message boards? And Marietta . . .well, sorry, Marietta, but you're doomed to play the role of the barely seen sidekick of the Diplo crew. Here, have a consolation prize,"

You received Tissues!

"There, is everyone happy?" Logically, everyone but Marietta nodded his or her head.

"Okay, then! Let's end this chapter with a nice round of jazz hands!"

And everything was snazzy.

Meanwhile, an amused and slightly drunk Creator was watching the whole incident with his secretary named Sylvia.

"That was interesting," he said.

"Yes, sir," the secretary replied.

"How could I have created something so utterly ridiculous?"

"Well sir, I believe you were amused and slightly drunk-"

"NO! YOU'RE WRONG! YOU JUST LIKE TO SING SONGS ABOUT TOBOGGANING!"

"-Just like you are now . . ."

"Shut up. You know I pwn."

"Yes, sir."

Slowly, he got up out of his chair. "Sylvia! Prepare the Eternal Sphere and fetch me my coat and my glow sticks! Tonight, I'm going raving!"

"Of course, sir. "

Eh, what can I say? I was in a very silly mood today. :D


End file.
